The House of Squirrel: A Comedic story of tiny squirrel's revenge

The House of Squirrel

I wouldn’t recommend harboring hateful feelings, holding a grudge, or seeking revenge on someone, although there are exceptions. Sometimes even squirrels could become avengers.

When I came back, my house was gone. It was only less than 30 minutes. I went out for hunting, meaning to gather acorns. I love acorns. I repeatedly picked up, cracked, and ate more than 100 acorns within 15 minutes.

Then I took time to store the rest of the acorns in my cheek pouch as much as possible to save up for later. But then, when I came back, my house was gone.

In fact, not only my house but also my residential tree was gone, too. The great enormous tree was now lying on the ground, having been cut from the bottom. Beside the tree, there was Joe. He was standing there with a chainsaw in his hand, cutting down the dead tree into smaller pieces.

He had done it. He had no idea how much I adored my house. I had meticulously chosen the branches I wanted to use for my house beforehand. I built the nest as my last house, with carefully selected materials.

Living there was perfect because of the significant tree, the quality of the air, and the neighborhood. There were many enemies in the wild for squirrels, but this place was relatively safe, and the great tree was the perfect place to hide. I could gather enough food, too. It was more than perfect.

More importantly, I liked Joe, even though he doesn’t know me. Joe liked watching movies. When I could successfully sneak into Joe’s house, I watched movies with him. I watched movies from behind him, inside the cupboard, on the teacup saucer. He didn’t know I was there. Nonetheless, it was my favorite way to spend the nighttime.

He had a great taste in movies. Joe and I laughed and cried together while watching movies. He always made himself popcorn, and my job was to clean up the mess of his dropped food.

By the way, the teacup saucer where I always chose to sit was Joe’s wife, Elizabeth’s, beloved one. I once eavesdropped as she told Joe about the tea set, which was her family’s asset and had some value. I wouldn’t care, because she is unlikable.

Elizabeth was always in the bedroom, reading books instead of watching movies with Joe. Even so, she would get mad when Joe fell asleep on the couch with the TV on. During the day, she watched foreign drama series in a foreign language with subtitles on while Joe was at work. It was not fun because I understand English by listening, but I don’t know how to read. Mean Elizabeth.

After I hid acorns that had occupied my cheek pouch, I approached Joe. I was curious whether he realized my house was in the tree or not. Had he known my house was up in the tree, he wouldn’t have chopped down my tree. I heard footsteps getting closer, so I turned in the direction and ran into their house through the open door.

Elizabeth walked toward Joe and said, “Oh, finally, you cut the tree down.”

Joe responded, “I didn’t want to. But you never stop asking, so. I had no choice, did I?” His hand was stopped, and he continued, “Oh my. There’s a nest! It was probably a squirrel’s. Oh no, poor squirrel.” I caught sadness in his voice.

I knew it, I knew it! The evil wife asked him! Forced him to! My house was gone because she asked him to!

“Ew! A squirrel was living up there!? In my property!? Toss it away!” responded Elizabeth.

Did she actually say Ew? I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Is this… a war? A war begins when one invades the other. It is. It is war. Oh, Elizabeth, Elizabeth. What have you done? I may have failed to protect my house, but I shall let you know the consequences of your deeds.

That night I snuck into their house. I deliberately vomited on her fancy teacup saucer. I thought the psychological tricks would work well for her. She has no clue what I’ve learned from movies.

Next, I went to their bedroom. I had quietly bitten off the caps of all of Elizabeth’s perfume bottles. She had quite a collection; even my strong jaw got tired. After that hard work, I carelessly fell asleep on the edge of their bed.

I woke up to Elizabeth’s hysterical voice. Oops. She was standing, trying to hit me with a pillow. I was almost knocked down, but I rolled over to the floor just before the pillow landed on me. I think subconsciously, I have mastered defensive skills by watching “Mission Impossible.”

Ran into the bathroom and got outside. I heard Joe saying, “Why would you try to kill him!” “Calm down, it’s just a squirrel!” “They won’t do any harm.”

I have come to like Joe even more. I had to wonder why such a nice guy would have married Elizabeth. She must have tricked him.

I went to gather enough acorns for my final strategy to take out Elizabeth for Joe. I had eaten the inside of the acorns and put as many shells in my cheek pouch as possible. I snuck into their house from the rooftop and landed on the top of the stairs. I carefully spread all shells. This was what I’ve learned from the movie “Home Alone.”

Once she put her foot on the shells, she would slip straight down to the floor. Just imagining it made me smile. I opened the nearby window and went out to the balcony, just in case I had to leave, and waited for Elizabeth to show up. I could hear the noise from Elizabeth’s room. She would eventually come out.

My eyes, which had been intently waiting for the moment, caught a movement. It was another squirrel jumping down from the roof. They landed next to me.

“Hi. I’m sorry to interrupt so suddenly.” She was a female. “I saw your tree being cut down. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. It was an amazing tree,” she continued.

I couldn’t stop staring at her. I could only nod. “If you’re looking for a new home, I can share my tree. If you’re interested.”

I think she is the most beautiful squirrel that has ever existed. I think I’m in love with her. “Come on, I’ll show you the tree.”

She started jumping down, kicking walls, and using significant parkour skills. She landed on the ground like Spider-Man and waved at me. Pretty. I followed her in a way that looked as cool as possible and landed next to her. I think I did like Spider-Man.

Simultaneously, I heard a loud banging sound coming from the house. I may have also heard Joe’s brief shout and moan. I felt like I had forgotten something… Whatever! I’m going to live for love!! At the end of the day, rom-coms are my favorite genre.